Dumb Study Suggests Great Way To Stay Fat

By July 26, 2010Diet, News Archive

Dumb Study Suggests Great Way To Stay Fat

A couple of idiot researchers have come up with a fantastic suggestion to actually increase the amount of refined grain products in the diets of children.  Because we’re apparently not fat enough already.

Oh, they think they’re helping.  In fact, the suggestion is basically this:  let kids eat more snacks made with whole grain flour, because hey, it’s whole grain, so it has to be good for you, right?

Wrong.  Listen, folks, just because the food has buzzwords like “whole grain” or “organic” on it, doesn’t mean it’s automatically good for you.  I cringe whenever I hear somebody bragging about scarfing down a bag of cookies that they bought from Whole Foods, like that somehow changes the fact that they just sucked in enough sugar to choke their pancreas for a week.

“Whole grains” are only healthy to eat when you eat them like that… AS WHOLE GRAINS.  As in, oatmeal.  Wild rice.  That sort of thing.  Not if you pound it into flour, add a bunch of sugar, salt, sweeteners, and God only knows what other sorts of processing chemicals, and turn it into a “Whole Grain Snack”.  No, sorry.  A whole grain cracker is still just a cracker, and will still spike your insulin levels and make you fat.

Oh, sure, the fact that you used whole grain flour to make it might make it SLIGHTLY less horrible for you, but that’s like smoking low-tar cigarettes.  It’s still a bad idea.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again.  Any time you process a food, ANY TIME you process a food, you start to make it unhealthy.  The more processed or refined it is, the more unhealthy it is.  The nitwits who wrote this study are trying to make it sound like eating graham crackers- crackers full of sugar and made with hydrogenated vegetable oils- should actually count as a eating whole grains.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  I guess Grape Soda counts as eating fruit now, too.

If you’re looking for a guarenteed way to get fat and stay that way, start pretending that sugar-filled processed snacks are whole foods. I mean, jeesh, this was an old Bill Cosby comedy routine!  He used to joke about how he baked his kids chocolate cake for breakfast because it contained eggs, milk, and wheat, so it must be healthy!

Part of the problem is the outdated food pyramid and so many researchers’ stubborn refusal to open their eyes and realize that it isn’t working.  Some people simply do as they are told, believe what they are told, and refuse to look into the facts for themselves.  This is a real problem in research, obviously, but that really doesn’t stop it from happening.

If these researcher had stopped to think for a microsecond, perhaps they would realize that a focus on getting anything at all with the words “whole grain” involved into your body might not work out as planned.  However, here’s what happens.  Somebody declares “We need to find a way to get kids to eat more whole grains!” and the solution doesn’t need to make sense so long as the words “Kids eating more whole grains” is somehow involved.

HEY!  I’ve got an idea!  Here’s a way to get kids to eat more whole grains!  Make waffles out of whole grains, and drench them in maple syrup!  Thin City, here we come!  Then we’ll soak spinach in sugar water, and put chocolate sprinkles on carrots… I AM A GENIUS.  I have single-handedly just solved our nation’s obesity epidemic.  Just turn everything into a sugar-covered snack, and it will all work out just fine.

Or, we’ll all explode into fatness even faster than we are now.

And parents, I know kids love snacks.  Of course they do.  Everybody does. They’re tasty.  But pretending a sugary snack is somehow good for you, because some microscopic portion of it is made of something that used to be healthy, isn’t helping.  You can’t fool Mother Nature.  The laws of physiology don’t care if you really, really, REALLY want to believe that eating a graham cracker is the same as eating a bowl of steel-cut oatmeal.

The only way to lose the weight (diet-wise) is to cut out the processed foods, especially those with sugar or sweeteners added, and stick with a whole foods, unprocessed diet.  There’s no real way around it.  So instead of lying to yourself and getting frustrated with not getting any results, simply focus on changing your habits to match up with what works in reality.

In the meantime, I’m going to buy these moronic researchers a bicycle and tell them to pretend it’s a rocket ship.  So they can go straight to the Moon and stop making such stupid claims.

Stay healthy!

Source: http://www.upi.com/Health_News/2010/07/23/Sneaking-in-whole-grains-via-snacks/UPI-82061279937609/